Graceful Conflict

Good morning my dear,

We are happy to be of service to you for that is why we are here. We are well aware of this subject of conflict in your human world. Conflict is not something we have in our world and the reason for that is that conflict is the product of the human ego. Now the human ego plays a very valuable part in your life. The ego makes it possible for you to communicate with others of your same kind. If your ego says to the ego of another, your eyes are blue. Then the other knows what you are talking about. If the other responds, your hair is black, then, again, you know what the other is talking about. 

The ego is that aspect of your humanity that holds your world together for you. It helps each of you recognize a table as a table and an automobile as an automobile. We would not recommend that you try to live your human life without your ego. It is not possible. 

However, sometimes your ego can become so strongly convinced that what it is seeing is the only possible thing for everyone else to see that that very same ego which is useful in so many ways now becomes a detriment to you. And when two such egos come together what you call conflict arises. 

Conflict is the warring of the egos. Conflict is the need for an individual ego to be right about its own perspective. Conflict arises from the narrowing down of a perspective until it contains only a very small amount of information and the smaller amount of information a perspective encompasses, the more certain  that ego is that it must be right. For within a small slice of perspective, there is only a small amount of information. And within that small amount of information, there is not enough perspective to be open to anyone else’s ideas. When such a narrowing of perspective occurs among individuals in a group of people, if the perspectives are so narrow that they cannot reach out and at least touch the perspectives of others in the group, then conflict arises. 

Those among you with the broadest perspectives will have the least participation in conflict. For the broad perspective can include many smaller perspectives. When those with the smaller perspectives begin to be at odds with one another, again, conflict arises. However, please know that this conflict which can seem so painful in the moment is only the beginning of the broadening of those very perspectives which are now at war with each other. 

Conflict, when properly and gracefully approached, can provide a platform for growth. When conflict arises, it is easy to retreat within one’s own perspective and put forward the idea that anyone not in your perspective is just simply wrong. It is also easy to withdraw into your perspective so far that you become unwilling to engage in a conversation with anyone else about their perspective. That is what so many people do when they are unwilling to risk the conflict which may arise from a comparison of perspectives. 

It is very easy for individuals in a group to feel an aversion to conflict and not to want to participate in the very conflict which, when properly approached, can help the group grow beyond its wildest hopes and dreams. Within conflict is the power to bring about change. And without change, nothing can grow. 

So if conflict is such a powerful agent for change, why do you humans avoid it like you do? Well, one of the things conflict can do is to break into the emotional boundaries you have created for yourselves. When those emotional boundaries are broached, energy is released. And that energy has to go somewhere. Mostly it goes out to the people around you, the very ones who are participating in this conflict with you. That can be painful for the recipients of your explosive emotional energy.

Let us say that an individual has some history with you and knows that your emotional explosions will be painful to them. It then becomes understandable that that individual might not want to become the target of your emotional explosion again. Then the pathways between you become shutdown. You explode and cause pain. The pain isn’t wanted by its recipient. The potential recipient of the pain just says, ok, I will not engage with this person in any way that will cause me more pain. Then the conflict shuts down and, if that continues long enough, growth is stifled and the issue in question does not continue to be discussed. It simply retreats into the background and waits. It does not go away. It is not resolved. It just sits quietly, for the moment, awaiting the arrival of another opportunity to reawaken. 

Graceful conflict becomes a valuable opportunity...

On the other hand, if conflict is viewed as a way of fertilizing your field of ideas and dreams, then a time of conflict becomes a valuable opportunity for you. An opportunity for what? An opportunity for growth. When conflicting people recognize this opportunity and are willing to join together gracefully to pursue the conflict, then true growth can occur. Each individual will grow. The project at hand will grow. And the planet herself will grow right along with you. 

So we encourage you to pursue conflict but to do it in a graceful manner. We encourage you to be aware of when conflict has the opportunity to be used as a valuable tool in your growth. We encourage you to be open to conflict. We encourage you to use conflict wisely and well. We encourage you to be as gentle as you can with each other while still addressing your conflicting perspectives. Wars start when warring parties have not been able to successfully deal with their conflict in a graceful way. 

We encourage you to hold your conflicts lightly – to know that just as you hold a perspective so do others. We encourage you to share those perspectives with each other. We encourage you to listen deeply to each other. We encourage you to recognize when those with whom you are in some kind of conflict are really on the same path as you are and want the same things as you want. We encourage you to be in conflict with each other as long as you are doing it gracefully and with much love. And so it is.

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